whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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