Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i think my cat just said my name.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
