I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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