is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
