so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
