Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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