Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
