I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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