he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
