i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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