were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
