Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
