I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
