white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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