I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she told me i tasted like america
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
