Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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