his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Drake has all the answers
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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