when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
