he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
