He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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