It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
