I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
