this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
