So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
