I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
