I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
