ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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