I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
