ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
