he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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