wrigley field is MILF paradise
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
