But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
