white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
