I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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