people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
