I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
