return my video game
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
