It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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