The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
