Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
