I didn't shave. On purpose
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
