i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
