every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
