What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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