my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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