I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
