Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
