You're completely useless in the revolution.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
