no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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