He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think a kid would responsible me up
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
