i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
