Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
